it was exactly what i was dreading. you changed. you chose to forget those times we spent together a day before new year's eve. do you still remember how you used to call me "darling", how you used to call me "dear", how you said you wanna call me "korkor"?

or

do you still remember how you hugged me from behind when i was trying to open the door? do you still remember how you hugged me in the swimming pool when i said i was cold? do you remember how you asked me to hug you from behind in the kitchen? do you remember how we baked the chocolate cake together? do you remember how we kissed, hugging each other?

do you know how much i need you? do you know how important you are to me? do you know how serious i am into our relationship? do you know that i seriously don't need "someone better"? i just need you. i love you. i really really love you. i know you had some feelings for me. i know u believed in our future.

what happened?

you went to NS. you listened to alot of things. you changed. alot.
i should have went with you to NS.

today:
do you know how much effort i put into to make sure you enjoyed yourself today? do you know how much time i spent to prepare for today? do you know how hard i tried to make today a memorable day for us? do you know how much you hurt me when you refused everything i gave you? do you know how much you hurt me everytime you pushed my hand away?

do you know how important you are to me? do you know how deeply you can hurt me? do you know how much i trust you? do you know how pained i was when you were away? do you know how much i really love you?

do you know how much i'm prepared to sacrifice just to be with you? do you how much i want to be with you?

please, darling, i love you.